To Med or not to Med, that is the question

Let me give this blogging thing a try.

I actually wrote this entry in June but didn’t have time to post it after a slew of exams and things to do for school. After a few revisions and a few doubts, I’ve resolved to finally post it. So be kind to me dear readers, I haven’t blogged/written in a long, loooonnngg while. I figured I’d be posting things about school quite often, so I think it’s only fit that you learn how I got here.

June 29, 2012

Today, I took my first exam in Med school. As I was sitting in front of the library with nothing to do and no one to talk to, I began to think about how I got here in the first place. You can ask my family and all my friends, and I do mean all, and they’d be the first one to tell you that as soon as I was done with Nursing, I was adamant in my decision not to pursue Medicine. Ironic since I went into Nursing with that plan in the first place.

But as with most things, God had other plans.

“Many are the plans in a man’s heart,
but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”
Proverbs 19:21 (NIV)

As I’ve discovered, God has a good sense of humor. You’d swear one thing and He’d literally make you do the opposite. It’s funny in that “Lord, ano ba?” kind of way. And well, as you could probably guess from where I am now, you’d see why I’d find things funny.

As soon as we came back from Australia and I started working as a tutor, my career would always be one of the things I spent a lot of time thinking about, one where I found myself at a loss and full of questions. Lord, where are You taking me? What can I do? What am I good at? What do I enjoy doing? How can I honor You with my choices in my career? And I remember that despite swearing it off and shutting it down, in my mind and in my prayers, Medicine was always an option for me. I don’t know why but let’s just leave it to God preparing me.

While working I realized that I liked traveling, learning about other cultures, and conversing with people from foreign countries. So after thinking about it for a while, I decided that I would become a diplomat, which was something I was actually going to pursue before I took up Nursing. I thought of what course I would need to be one, what school would be best, how much I’d need, etc., etc. I had everything planned out and was even dreaming about the different places I’d get to go to.

Why, then, the change of heart? I remember it like it was yesterday. It was Singles’ Getaway, and we were asked to create a vision board for ourselves. Funnily enough, the magazine on our table had an advertisement for St. Luke’s in it. For some weird reason, I cut up the phrase “Expert Doctors” and glued it to my paper. After that, the Pastor prayed for us and as we were praying, I asked myself why I didn’t want to take Med in the first place. I realized that what was stopping me was my desire to have it easy. I knew Med was going to be full of hard and sleepless nights, and after Nursing I was sure I didn’t want that. Talking to my friends taking up Med and seeing their Facebook statues certainly didn’t help. But when I looked at the tools God had given me, I realized that Medicine is probably something I’d be good at. If the only thing stopping me was that ayaw ko nang mahirapan, then that wasn’t a good enough reason. In fact, my reasons weren’t reasons; they were excuses (Elena, TVD, 2009). And when I decided to just finally give up and let God take the lead, peace that transcended all understanding came upon me. I stopped fighting and let God have His way.

After praying for more than a year for God to reveal His will and plan for my career, He finally answered my prayer. In everything that has happened since I decided to take that faithful/fateful step, God has proven Himself faithful and sovereign. I took the NMAT, got a higher score than I expected, got into the Med school of my choice, and I feel that I’m finally in the place God has called me to be. I know now, after spending close to 2 months with my classmates, why I had to wait for 2 years before studying again. I've never been more sure of where I am now - that God has called me to be here, at this particular time, to be part of this group, to take this certain path.

So when it comes to your plans, let God surprise you. He already knows what’s best.

“You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book before one of them came to be.” 
Psalm 139:16 (NIV, NLT)

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.” 
Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV, NLT)

Just in case you were curious, here’s my vision board. And yes, I am praying that I get to have my own family in the future, but that’s a long way to go. For now, med muna;)

Cheers!

Janelle